(no subject)

[lazchan]

I am frustrated at my work. I called in yesterday to tell them that I didn't feel well and didn't want to work. The guy told me "call early--five 5am" so that I could get the day off. I call up--silly me. There was NO time avaliable. All spots had been taken. So it took me almost two hours to get back to sleep, when I had to get up at 9am anyways. So not much sleep, frustrated, sick-ish, and tired. I cried...oi....Im doing alot of that lately. Maybe its because I hardly ever do that. I was never a big 'cry when people can hear you' I kept everything INSIDE. It was nice inside--no one knew your problems. This locked box...I lost the key to. Perhaps that's why I'm emotionally messed up. *sighs* And when I don't feel well, someone tells me to take vitamins. I don't know anymore. I hate getting into my 'moods'--it really does bother me sometimes. I get depressed and don't want to do anything. I'm not at that exact point right now, but getting close to it. Here's hoping that it will improve soon.

I have great friends, offline and online, that I wouldn't give up, because I know they are there for me. In many different ways. Some people I can dump on, or help myself. I put on a face for so many people though. Not many people know the real me, and I'm not sure I know myself. What if I'm really not a good person? Mean or spiteful? Who knows...

*sighs* Here I go again... -_- Well, off to work, and maybe the walk will clear away some of my frustration.