Concerning JET and re-contracting...

[lazchan]

I think I've made my decision about re-contracting for JET.

I am pretty sure I won't--I've been debating why I'd stay and the most reason lean towards I &hearts Japan and not so much about teaching itself. I adore my students and the people I work with, but frankly--I suck at teaching. LOL

I wish I could be better at it, that I had more drive, but I still get nervous standing in front of people and teaching, trying to speak English with them (this goes double at my visiting school, where I see the classes so little). The students are hilarious and smart and I want to see all my of my 2nd years graduate high school, but... it's simply not the type of job I excell at and I hate feeling like I'm doing a bad job.

If it was just Japan, I'd stay here and enjoy it and visit everything I could in it. But teaching was never something I had studied, had planned to do, because fear of public speaking held me back a great deal. I struggle with making lesson plans and adopting them to the class and I am never sure how much English to use and how much explanation is needed.

I honestly wonder if the students learn anything at all from me. :P And it's not like I can ask the teachers I work with... *grins* because they're unfailingly polite and won't tell you that you're doing a bad job and if you say you are doing a bad job, they think you're being humble.

But I've thought about this for quite a while and went back and forth with several classes, days of work and plotting it against another year of it. I honestly think I'll be doing the kids and the program a disservice if I stay another year with my limited ability to teach.

I love the program and this has been one of the best, most unique experiences of my life and probably nothing can match it. But I'm also getting older and need to get started in the career I studied for, as well as furthering my own education in it. I don't just mean graduate school, but keeping up on the latest techniques, news and so forth.

Teaching was never my absolute thing and I realize now how badly I do at it. *laughs* So yeah... I think when it's time to sign the paperwork, I will regretfully decide to not re-contract.

Unless the teachers beg me or something. *laughs*

Comments

[phoenixdown7.livejournal.com]

well, no matter what you've decided to do, it seems like this program has been an experience of a lifetime for you. That's just awesome. ^__^