*sighs*

[lazchan]

I think I really hurt a good friend of mine--unintentionally. This is why I think I'm so selfish...by the stupid things I do. I am going out of town this weekend, and silly me.... I forgot it was Easter Sunday coming up. I tend to think of Easter in April. So I was going to spend half of my time in SLC with one friend, and the other half in Provo with another friend. I didn't think, was my problem. I was going to spend Thursday and most of Friday with one friend.. and I was hoping for Friday night with the other friend, and Saturday was going to be spent with all of them. My original intent was to spend Sunday with the first friend. Church and all. Then my roomie reminded me it was Easter, and I panicked. So I thought..make it easier and spend it with the one friend I hardly ever see. Well....when I suggested that, I inadveretly hurt my friend whom Im going DOWN to the area with. I realize that I was being selfish, and that I hurt her...and now I feel guilty, and crying. *sighs* I didn't mean to hurt her. It makes it seem like Im using her, and thats not it all. It looks really bad. It's...well, I don't like Easter in general, and being around a bunch of people during a big dinner would make me feel like an outsider. I don't know. Im going to spend Easter with my SLC friend, but I hope I didn't hurt her too badly.

Comments

[yashira.livejournal.com]

All friends are important... I speak from experience as the "friend" who is always shafted since people know (they think) i'll be there for them. (To anyone else reading this, No, i'm not the friend Laz is speaking off.. just to clear that up) If you think you hurt your friend, the blunt and honest truth, is that you did. No one wants to be rejected for someone else... it really hurts when that happens.. especially when people find out that it happens. Unless you can make it up to your friend somehow, she's going to be hurt and no amount of crying on your side will change what your friend is feeling... because you did it to her not the other way around.

I can only suggest trying to talk to her, making it up, showing that you are sorry. Just because you see one friend more than another, doesn't mean an easy way out to the situation. Because yes, that is selfish. You can not make excuses like that because that's like saying, one friend is more important than another and do you really want to make a decision like that? If i sound like i'm coming down hard, I'm sorry, but I've spent alot of time with people thinking, "oh she'll understand..." or "i'll do what i want,"... that i have my own, if unwanted, opinions on it. I personally hate being thrown over for someone else. It makes me feel useless, worthless and so much like yesterday's junk.

But that's just my take on the situation.. i really don't know anyone else's side, i'm just rambling now.