mm... brownies...

Well, I still don't have a job and I'm going NUTS! I have bills to pay and things to pay and .. *wails* I'm never going to get back to college and be smart. I'll be in debt forever. I'm starting to think college was a mistake.. -_-

I've been having fun writing lately. My friend and I have come up with the most hysterical scenario, and let's just say it involves... puppies. Yep! Kawaii koinu. ^_^

I made brownies today from scratch! Yummy! No box for me... wai wai! I can actually cook something, even if its a desert. ^^;; Im so pathetic...

and what was the point of this entry? To show you the cool sheep quiz, of course!





Which flock do you follow?

this quiz was made by alanna



You are a -
Neutral Sheep!
Congrats - you do what you like! You make your own rules, not follow the flock!

How quickly moods can change...

The one thing that I hate more in the world about myself is the uncanny ability to know exactly what will piss someone off or hurt them the most. If I'm lucky, both at the same time! sarcasm I hurt a very good friend tonight, and I was a dog, my ears would be droooping and I'd be slinking away, tail between legs. Nothing hurts me worse than hurting a friend.

I'm just...frustrated, I guess. Too many things not happening to me, and happening around me. My younger friends are safely enrolled in college, some are parents, they have jobs--they're happy. They're doing good--succeding in life. Why I...am falling. I always seem to be doing this, crash landing on the ground with fire trailing from the sky above me. Something I do causes this--the explosion of what was once good. If I'm not careful, I'll screw this friendship like I have with some others. I think I'm too selfish...too wrapped up in myself. If I just gave a little, and thought... just once, then maybe things would go better for me.

I have a job... finally. Bagging groceries. I've done this job before, and I was even considering doing it again when I was in Utah. It's not a bad job, but it seems like I've fallen again. I bagged groceries when there was nothing else--no college, no experience. Now I'll be working ten hours a day with people that don't really like me (I worked with them before) and the other half that doesnt know me and sees me as someone new to take their tips. Half of the time I will probably be leaning aganist the wall, waiting for a customer. There goes a waste of time. I get out of the house, I make some money... but...

I think my friend is disapointed with me as well. I don't know how to explain it to her--we see it in two different ways. Maybe I am just a brat that won't amount to anything. Look at my family.