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There are rare moments when I can actually talk to my friends seriously, without them telling me to get over myself in the rudest way possible. It hurts when they don't listen... and sometimes I just need someone to pour out what I'm feeling. This is a link to a conversation with one of my friends--one that if you get her in her serious mood, it does wonders for me.

Conversation

Just a little note...

Date: 2002-12-02 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mimea.livejournal.com
Laz-chan! *GLOMPS* It's me, Elora, from Himiko's forum. ^_^ I found your journal through Mette's, who I found through my friend cinsangel's...

Anywho.. it sounds like you're having a rough time of it. No wonder we haven't seen much of you lately! :\ But as your friend said, you'll make it through.

If it gives you any comfort, you're not alone in the "I'm just dead weight, I can't do anything" boat. I'm 24, and in much the same boat as you are (well, I just found a job at Micky D's, but.. it's fast food for goodness' sake. :p). Up until almost 6 years ago now, I was one of those who did everything right.. one of those disgusting perfect people who was very grade-driven. But looking back, I would have been a very sad, pitiable person if I had kept going on as I was because I didn't *truly* care about people. I was somehow distant from them. BUT I had my "A" average and I was going to be a 2000 college graduate, and everything was going to be rosy.

Then I was running late to class, tripped on the edge of a rug, and "hello head, meet the edge of the door and the metal doorstop". Not pretty. Basically, everything I'd worked for up to that point was lost.. I eventually had to come home (I fought for over a year to stay in college, but I just couldn't), and it was devastating. And here I am, still living in my parents' house, even though my mother wouldn't mind if I stayed here until I was old and gray, I want to start getting my life back. I *just* got my first job in 4 years last month. I still don't have a car, and still can't drive, but I'm working on it, darn it!

As your friend said, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I can attest to that. You'll make it through, I know! And yes, you're a wonderful writer, so stop thinking you aren't. NOTHING is completely original.. remember, there are only 32 major plots in the world, and HOW many books have been written throughout history, hm? Have more faith. :)

Re: Just a little note...

Date: 2002-12-03 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lazzchan.livejournal.com
*hugs* Thank you, Elora. ^_^ I'm doing a lot better now-- spent some time at a friends house and came back, actually in a good mood. ^^;; All hope isn't lost--

That's horrible what hapened to you! *HUGS* I wish things had gone better for you, but -- there is always the next day and the one after that to look forward to, and give thanks you are alive. *smiles*

*g* And yes, Im always sensitive about my writing. Always have been. She knows that particular story of mine that I mentioned, and I cringe at the original copy-- ^^;; very badly written.

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